sadly watching thunder coming.
not even thinking about past, or present.
future is what scares me.
passionately falling always costs more than thing.
measure rather twice and cut just once.
think before you decide.
otherwise consequences will bury you.
don't leave stable for temporary.
don't let your brain be washed away.
and your eyes be blinded by pink scarf of love, passion and other deadly poisons.
believe me you don't want to hit the ground.
and have nasty bruises and some broken bones.
just to play and be played.
a.m.

12/25/15

And maybe after all, this year wasn't so bad.
Maybe I was happy as much as sad.. and oh god, I was loved. Maybe badly, maybe passionately, maybe temporary, maybe truly, sadly, secretly and of course loudly. But it doesn't matter in the end.

And if I did, loved someone?
Unfortunately I did. And I do. Not only this year.
I loved man who stole the biggest piece of my heart and whole mind and I had run away  sooner than I realized it.
I loved man who reminded me him so badly. And after all those games I played it hit me like a bullet.
There was only one special man, who stood and also stand by me for a couple of years now, does everything for me.
He is the first one I call when I'm sad and need hug.
The first one I call when I'm drunk and need help.
He is the only one who saw me in my best and also in my worst  and still is here.
He is the one who knows me and makes me happy all the time.
And after all those things which he did for me, after all those hugs and kisses I didn't see it.
I love him

Once

My heart
my body
and my soul
they all are yours
if you take them
if you want them
you are the concept of my soul
I breathe you
In every cell of my body is written your name
I cannot live without you
you became a part of me
you touched my heart in a way I didn't know was possible
it took your deep look with your  eyes into mine and after that I fell passionately
in love
but that happened once
long time ago
ever after that
It was stronger day by day
and now
It so fucking more
than just falling in love
I already am in love
I've fallen
for you
many times
and now
It has already consumed me
It's you
Always
Always was
and always will
unchanged
and luckily
you fell for me
once.
Or
I just
hope